RelapseHide the bladeBeneath the clothes,RunRun to be aloneIn the silenceWhere only the blade remains.Cut before you change your mindLet the adrenaline runYou've done itThe relief is uncontrollable.Blood, beading along the linesYou smileTearsThey fall down your faceThe pressure is gone,But what remains is guiltAll that effort,Wasted,You're worthless,To find pleasure from this pain.You've relapsed.Who can help you?Your boyfriend thinks you're selfish.Your family thinks it's attention seeking.Your sister, your dear sweet sister,She cares too much it would kill her.Who can help you now?No one.You've relapsed.You're alone.
Hidden'I wonder what my mom and dad would sayIf they knew I cried each day...'I wonder what they would sayIf they saw my arms and legslaced with scarsAnd a tale of miseryI wonder how they would feelIf they knew I was lyingThat I didn't feel illI was forcing, willingI wonder how it would hurt themIf they knew I was hurtingand switching emotional painfor physical.I wonder what they would thinkif they knew I lived a liethat I wasn't happybut depressed, dying.There's a reason they don't knowthey'll do as they always do.It's a personal attack on them they'd sayand that it's for attention.But what if they're wrong?What if it's not attention?But I'm dying. Piece by piece, losing my mind
Death WishI'll let the blood run and flowI'll watch the scars grow and growI know inside I'll never be freeAnd that this life is made for meI'll hide the blades and knives and scarsI'll please everyone and be happy for a whileBut when will they realise?When will they know?I want to die,I want to be gone.
Shedding SkinSomeday I'll be cured,I'll shed my skinBe new.Someday I'll be found,I'll stop being lostAnd live.Someday I'll be free,Show off my armsScars faded.Someday I'll be known,For my troubling fightFor freedom. Someday...Today I'm in pain,The wish to harmbeats hope.But,Someday I'll be cured,I'll shed my skinBe new.
SingDo you ever hear the pounding?Of the blood through your veinsCalling youIt starts to hurtAchingDull, slowSinging for the blade.Do you ever feel the stinging?Of old scars outlining your storyCalling youDon’t do itStopYou reachSinging for the blade.Do you ever hear the ticking?Of the clock as time slowsCalling youThe blade runsBloodBeadsBleeds, slowYou sung for the blade.
LonelinessI'll share a drink with you,And may it be called Loneliness...But it's betterthan sitting heredrinkingalone.
DelusionalDeathThat final wordYouThe one I loveThose words together,I freeze.Petrified.Immovable.Don't leave me here.Take steps,UnableI can't concentrateAre you alive?!Eighteen HoursWithout wordsNoneYou threatenedDid you succeed?TearsBegin to fall,How could you do this?How could you leave me alone?I lift my headWipe my mouthLean back.You can't have succeededCould you?
The Ones I've LostScars show the battlesThe ones I've lost.Arched, puckered, uglyBut I'll show you themI'll show youThe ones I've lost.Long sleeves hide the trailBut scars tell a storyOne arm a horrific fightOne leg a slow climaxWherever, whatever, they'll always beThe ones I've lostSoon I'll have recoveredFor your sweet words hold me dearYour lips brush the white linesYour fingers against my hipYou'll never let me goThe ones I've lost ...are distant...
FearFear.Fear is walking into a hospitalAnd not knowing when you'll leaveFear is watching a doctor read your chartAnd shake his head in desperationFear is writhing around in agonyWanting an end to come soonFear is not knowing what is wrongAnd wishing it would stopFear is knowing this is partially a dreamAnd that soonThose hospital lightsDraw nearer.SoonIt will be real...
YouSome days I feel aliveSome days I feel aloneSome days I want to crySome other days I don'tI want to have you by my sideI want to have you closeI want you not to be afraidI want you to give me love...Be there when I feel aliveBe there when I feel aloneBe there when I want to cryBe there when I don't...
FragileMotions,Slow and smoothI move to youWill you move to me?Fragileone step brings all downWill I take the stepOr will you?MeetYour hand glances my faceFollows a trailThat misery broughtForever Is how I'd like to stayLike this with youbut a step is done.BrokenDepression strikesYou touch me no moreYou're gone, away.HiddenThat's how you remainWhy do you hide?Can't I help?GradualYou come back tomeslow and smoothI'll move to youRelationshipsfragile, thin iceWill depression strikeWill you leave me once more?
HopeA dark sooty tunnelNo sense of light, or endSits a young girl, dyingOf her own self miseryA hand reaches with a smileAnd pulls her outWords act like hugsHer spirit risesWith his words, she returnsShe brings back her old truthsWhat were once memoriesShe removes from boxesShe’s a new girlConfident, smiling, laughingHe stands looking at his workHe’ll catch her if she fallsNo one recognises this girlThey only recognise her shellHer soul has returnedShe’ll prove them all wrong.She barely recognises herselfBut she’s not aloneShe stands strong with a friendA friend who pieced her back togetherA friend, called hope.
Dirty SecretLet me tell you a secretWhen I cutI sayI don't want to dieBut here's the punchline ...I lied...
FailureI've lost my dreamIt's shattered, goneI stand here with shards surrounding meDreams of a futureA career and happinessgone and I'm left here hopelessSo once again,I turn to the bladeto find it gone. I thought I'd recoveredI was denied my hopeit laughs in my faceDeath, is what I want.
Trigger: MusicTo hear the musicTo hear the soundIs all it requires.That voice, plays in your head.No, not the singer's, his.And you slip.Memory after memory attack youWith barbed edges, slicingAttacking your mind.Tears stream, hands moveTo find the bladeTo make a cut.A simple noteA well known voiceCan reduce you to thisWhat can I say?it's a trigger...
StorySleeves, long, pulled downSkin, criss crossed with pale whiteagainst scars, puckered and jagged.Can you tell the story?Some abused, harassed, hurt,Held against their willPunished, pushed open, forced wide,Broken, pained, rapedSome punish themselves harshlySelf hatred, loathing, miseryto slash with blades into soft skina release, true justice, freeFaliure, is what some fearTeachers and parents alike punish her,Yes she may dream of inspiration,Pushed down, Demoted, Full of failureThey stand together with bandaged armsReasons make no differenceThey stand scarred, never aloneBut can you tell the story?
DarknessThe darkness follows us allBut only some succumb to it.We're stereotypedWords cannot describe pain,Paint can't take place of bloodHelp us.Light crushed with lost soulsUnloved, unwanted, hurtPick the bladeSharp, razor, lightweightdeep slash through paleTo redNo understanding at allWords completely goneNo one wants youYou're alone. Uncared for.Why don't you give up?We do.We'll end it all,Can we be saved?
My GiftMy gift to you,Will be my heart.BrokenShardsOf loveThat's lost.My gift to you,Will be my strength.ImpossibleLackingIrreparableYet strong.My gift to you,Will be my love.IrrationalUnendingInconsolableI'm yours.My gift to you,Will be my blood.See scarsTraceHealNever again.My gift to you,Will be my body.AbusedRuinedTaintedYet here.My gift to you,Will be my mind.SporadicInsaneFixatedOn you.
MaskI put on a mask to hide my face.I make sure that it leaves no trace.I want to open up myself and share,But if I do will you still be there?My thoughts are more twisted than you know.My self-esteem's extremely low.Sometimes I have so much fear.It's so tough to keep my head clear.I want to kill myself all the time,But I just tell you that I'm fine.Sometimes I want to kill others.That's something you can never discover.And so I keep it hidden inside.I don't know if it's fear or pride.This will change your image of me.You'll run away from what you see.You'll never look at me the same.I don't want to play this game.So I'll keep myself locked away.It doesn't matter what I want to say.Keeping up my high wall,Is the closest to not being this at all.
Unfaithful SoulMy heart brokeWhen i realizedHow involved you were with herMy eyes criedWhen i realizedThat you were still in love with herMy soul diedWhen you choose her over meMy life vanishedAs i lay there bleeding outRazor i one handA note in the otherA note you gave meWhen we first metPromising your heartPromising forever
I Wish You Could TellI love you so muchMore than anyone beforeI wish you could tell
Honest PsychiatristNormal, your brain is not.Take a guess at what you got.It's needed for your medication.Label shouldn't cause frustration.Guess at what pill to take.So many that they make.Don't know about your brain.Could make you more insane.Effects are usually small.You may have none at all.We warn just so you know,Your pain may just grow.Your brain isn't fried.Just another to be tried.Patience is what I need.I promise it isn't greed.So here's another pill.Maybe now you won't be ill.
Being Okay Is The Hardest Thing We DoBeing Okay Is The Hardest Thing We Do because being okay is expected,if we’re not okay, that’s not okay,what can we do to be okay?we can scribble illegible wordson a canvas made for by paintersmasquerading as notebook paper,and hope that we can sell the burnof stinging emotions for some paper.but the funny thing about that thought?is that american money isn’t paper,it’s 75% cotton and 25% linen fibers.so even the money you'd earn from your misery,isn't anything you can write onwhen you realize your money isn't made to heal. even if it does talk. but it never really ever says enough, does it?But that's okay...being okay is the hardest thing we dobecause sticks and stones do break bones,but you can hide the scars with a jacket or longer sweatshirt.or put on pants as opposed to athletic shorts.words kill, words heal, and words are so much more.and you can't hide the scars that riddle your face,the way your
Her GripBreathing is ragged.Head is spinning.You run faster and faster,but you know she's winning.As she closes the distanceher voice becomes clear,whispering your secrets,and your darkest of fears.Your energy is waning,and she's only getting faster,and you know without a question,this will end in disaster,Suddenly there's a grip on your arm,It's stubborn and strong.It's all over now.It's all going wrong.
Broken and despisedLittle girlOnce so inocentNow broken to the coreOf her very beingHer once free mindNow trapped in a nightmareHer once pure heartShattered into tiny piecesHer once hopeful soulOverwhelmed by darkness and despairAnd no one noticesBecause she hides her scarsUnder long sleevesBecause she hides her painBehind a fake smile...
Only MeWhat would it feel like,To just disappear.You wouldn't know,If you just weren't here.There is no feeling,Because you can't feel.You can't interpret.You just aren't real.It's so lonely here,Where you used to be.I look around,But it's only me.
3:00 AM ConfessionsEvery time I think about itVicious thoughts flood my mindEvery day that is spent aloneReminds me of what I once hadYou don't talk to me anymoreThe rumours you spread show that you no longer careHurt me with threats and insultsInflict loneliness on meNever-ending, emptyGo about with your own lifeHide the truth about usUnderstand that we are different people nowRemember the bad times and forget the goodTell yourself I don't matter anymoreSay goodbye forever
DefinitionI'm fineI'm not fine, please help meEnough about meI'm hiding somethingI'm recoveringI'm just saying that.I need youI'm about to attempt suicideI'm just tiredI can't take this anymoreI already ateI can't eat. I want to starveGo AwayDon't leave. Care enough to stay.I love youYou're the one person I trustI don't love you any moreI do, I just don't want to hurt you.I'm coldI've cut, I don't want you to see the scarsI'm better, I promiseI'm the worst I've been, I liedI'm okayI want to dieJust one moreI'm not going to stop.