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I'm fine
I'm not fine, please help me

Enough about me
I'm hiding something

I'm recovering
I'm just saying that.

I need you
I'm about to attempt suicide

I'm just tired
I can't take this anymore

I already ate
I can't eat. I want to starve

Go Away
Don't leave. Care enough to stay.

I love you
You're the one person I trust

I don't love you any more
I do, I just don't want to hurt you.

I'm cold
I've cut, I don't want you to see the scars

I'm better, I promise
I'm the worst I've been, I lied

I'm okay
I want to die

Just one more
I'm not going to stop.
Our words. Our words are a new language. Forever lying, forever wanting people to show their love.

I fell victim to these words, and now I stand alone.

Lani, ASuicidalPoet xo
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:iconmithrandiir:
Mithrandiir Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Brilliant work... i know i use a lot if these phrases as well - hoping for someone to discover the lie...
Sendig u lots of love and hoping u are better now? Msg me if u need someone to talk too... :hug:
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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Thanks xx
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:iconscreamingeve:
screamingeve Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
OMG Siamese Twins Thanks for everything! Nod Clap 
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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
<3
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:iconaqureshi1:
Aqureshi1 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
Feels.....so beautiful.....and sad Pikachu Crying Plz 
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
dat pikachu,, :') xxx
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:iconaqureshi1:
Aqureshi1 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013
Yes.....let da feels commence 
Reply
:iconflyingheartist:
FlyingHeartist Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very true poem. Don't give up trying to get better, try to look at life in a positive light. I know how hard it is but keep trying.
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
Thank you x
Reply
:iconflyingheartist:
FlyingHeartist Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconlibbydear:
LibbyDear Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
My stomach says help. ;p I love you hun
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
;p xx
I love you tooo xx
Reply
:iconlibbydear:
LibbyDear Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Aaah that face didn't work D: sorry
Reply
:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:

...I carved "I'm fine" into my leg the other day.

It's hard, living a lie.
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
I've always been tempted to carve a word... but then I'm terrified that I can't say that it's cat scratches...
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:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Good, don't. I still have the scars from carving "Save Me" into my thigh once.
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
Nasty... :* :hug:
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:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah :/ so don't cut words into your skin. don't cut at all, actually. ;P 
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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
Loving that afterthought :')
Reply
:iconkmills95:
kmills95 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconthe-stephy-powers:
the-stephy-powers Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This poem is very true. I love it.
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
Thank you x
Reply
:iconcadlum15theoutcast:
Cadlum15theoutcast Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
Those mixed and dicey feelings in my head are finally laid out... Masterfully done Lani!  ( this reminds me of how much I am a contradiction... so atleast now I know I wasn't the only one who felt that way...
Reply
:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
My boyfriend was like this, but... it didn't work out.
Reply
:iconcadlum15theoutcast:
Cadlum15theoutcast Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
Perhaps we're just Yandere... well, not the killing sorts but the ones that are devout and all, but then something in us caused the relationship to , one way or another, be destructive... I ended up destroying myself after believing, working and hoping for something that wasn't there in the first place. <and I haven't gone to a Psychologist in my life...  not saying it will or won't solve anything...>
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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
I have a therapist now :P xx
Reply
:iconcadlum15theoutcast:
Cadlum15theoutcast Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
My father kept promising me appointments with this psychologist... but never once did he bring me to any of them.  (correction:under further inspection of what I last wrote... I didn't clarify what proper nouns belonged to the pronoun "Us". gets pretty confusing... I was referring to your friend and I having Yandere traits... if you have such traits as said in the last comment... I guess that makes it the 3  of "us" ... sorry if I sorta type  a lot or if the stuff I type sound awkward... I'm... weird I guess.
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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
I hadn't even noticed.
My parents don't know a thing. In my town I have a Youth Connexions place down the road from my school. So I'm sorted.
Reply
:iconcadlum15theoutcast:
Cadlum15theoutcast Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
The only thing that keeps me from getting my Grandfather's Kukri knife from it's sheath is Bible study. Some people find it weird for a catholic involved in Christian endeavors... and though I look somewhat taboo, they accept me nonetheless. I've lost faith, but there's just something about what my speaker says that keeps me from wanting to permanently sever my connections with God. I guess I just feel guilty or something... complain about my suffering when there's lots of others who deserve to do so, but are still silent to rebuke. It both provokes and prevents me from doing anything extreme. Shame I guess is another word.<others suffer until death. Do I even deserve a shortcut out? >
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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet:
AOnceSuicidalPoet Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
I'm sorry, but I am in no sense religious:P
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