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:iconaoncesuicidalpoet: More from AOnceSuicidalPoet

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Submitted on
September 22, 2013
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46 (who?)

Hide the blade
Beneath the clothes,
Run to be alone
In the silence
Where only the blade remains.

Cut before you change your mind
Let the adrenaline run
You've done it
The relief is uncontrollable.

Blood, beading along the lines
You smile
They fall down your face

The pressure is gone,
But what remains is guilt

All that effort,
You're worthless,
To find pleasure from this pain.

You've relapsed.
Who can help you?
Your boyfriend thinks you're selfish.
Your family thinks it's attention seeking.
Your sister, your dear sweet sister,
She cares too much it would kill her.

Who can help you now?
No one.
You've relapsed.
You're alone.
So, I'm back.
But I have relapsed. Everything here is true. No exaggeration, nothing hidden.

So, Hello, I guess.

Hell has returned.

Lani, ASuicidalPoet xo
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alwasebeautiful39 Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love you <3
AOnceSuicidalPoet Feb 25, 2014  Student Writer
Awh! Love you too! <3
SolidMars Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
hi there 
on behalf of :iconliterarypublications:
your lovely work has been featured here: Literary Publications Special Feature
9QuestionEverything6 Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is much more than a poem. It's a deeper part of your life simply written.
No difficult structure or fancy rhyme scheme, it's just exactly what you want to say and more between the lines. I like that.
Thank you for sharing with us.
AOnceSuicidalPoet Oct 14, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much :)
RosemonkeyCT Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow... I don't know what to say. Sorry for you :huggle: I know how all this feels, I really do.
AOnceSuicidalPoet Oct 13, 2013  Student Writer
thank you :3 x
RosemonkeyCT Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem. I've gone over a year and a half since my last relapse, but I have come very dangerously close to it many times since. Saying it's hard doesn't even cover it. But all I've done since I stopped... 7 years ago? I think? All I've done is relapse once when things get too much. Then I've gone on without for a long time before another blip. before I "stopped" it was every day. I still have scars, very visible ones. But "doing it once" isn't the same as "starting doing it again", if that makes sense.

If you ever do break, don't punish yourself for that moment. Celebrate how long it's taken before you needed it. And make every break further away than the last. Every day you DON'T do it is a blessing, not the other way around. So be proud of every day. Even the days you do for the spaces between. I won't lie and say you'll never want to - like I said, 7 years and my brain still jumps to that as a defence mechanism. But it gets easier with time, and you get stronger.
AOnceSuicidalPoet Oct 13, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so so much xx
RosemonkeyCT Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Any time :huggle:
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